My mother passed away last December and we have just had the first Mothers’ Day without her, in fact for my wife and I, the first with no mother between us. I didn’t buy her one of these books when she was alive so it might seem an odd thing for me to have done to buy one now.
But it has helped …
I have spent over 2 months dealing with the death, government departments, the will, selling the property and all the (frankly rather more complex than it should be) administration that follows someone’s death and it isn’t over yet. All of this meant that I was forgetting to remember my mother for the wonderful, happy, much loved person that she was. I was filling her absence with the wrong memories, the wrong thoughts and forms, letters, phone calls and paperwork instead of laughter and smiles.
And so I created this book. Inside, on her personalised page, I put the poem we used at the funeral and photos of her smiling, happy and taking part in life with us, our family and our friends – the way I want to remember her.
And you know what … it has worked. From the moment it arrived it has sat on the desk where I work and the photo of my mum smiling out of the cover at me lifts me when I forget how special she was. I can dip into it and smile instead of having to pull out a copy of her Order of Service and I can leave it around to let visitors know that its alright to talk to me about her, fine to share a laugh at the memories, fine to miss her.
It is not what these books were meant for, it was not what I thought I would ever use them for, but I’m really glad I did it and I think Mum would have loved it too.